I have to take what I’m making
And turn it into something
Before it breaks and I’m left with nothing
But a lesson
And an ache or two
But there is always the direction right?
Pick yourself up and carry on. That is true strength.
And lesson after lesson hits me straight in the face. I have had a myriad of experiences. My life has taken me places I always knew I would go, and others I could never dream up of. And honestly,
It is beautiful and surprising and hopeful and real.
I know the power of experience, and revel in it, I truly do! Yet somehow still separate and categorize, always forgetting that hope and surrender aren’t meant to be reserved for when I’m feeling reflective.
And that’s the lesson I’m stuck on right now. My own indifference.
The Lord showed me a dream of my future family. My daughter, with the fiercest resolve and the skinniest legs. She had my imagination, and I was sitting there praying she would never try to control it. And the sun’s rays were tamed and transformed into the softest glow off of her tan skin. Her mother’s skin. Her mother. My wife. All I can recall is her eyes. Her face was familiar, a perfectly framed portrait of love. Beauty. Joy. But her eyes! They glowed with the embers of the eternal, possessing knowledge neither of us could articulate, but only she could act. And we were together.
And then I woke up.
To another lesson.
Ok is not ok.
All the strength in the world will not secure anything without the wisdom to recognize and appreciate. The stress will come and go in droves, the worries will ebb and flow. And all these experiences will amount to something.
And that something is what I’m making. Or potentially breaking.
Its dreams like this one that show me I will only come to see God in even grander ways. And my attitude is not externally influenced. My spots of indifference now will be my spots of indifference in the future. And the thought of me ever taking my wife’s eyes for granted is one of my greatest fears.
I picture a man panicking in the shallows, not realizing he has the power to stand. Our feet, solid beneath us, can handle more than our bodies face down in the sandy water gasping for clean air. So strange how the waves of life’s worries are rendered powerless if we change our position and perspective. We have been gifted with enough. We just need to tap into our potential, and employ.
There will always be opportunity to employ strength. To dust yourself off and get back up. But there will be limited opportunities to see your daughter grow up. And look into your wife’s eyes.
To see God in some of the closest ways possible.
Delineate your true wishes from the schemes
Pursue with present hope the ultimate goal
And you will look back on your dreams
A prophet. Rich, blessed and whole