There is a state of existence
I inhabit despite the persistence
from others to define and see,

it’s possible to be neither A nor B,

I’m in-between,

the subtraction, addition,
the retraction, a contradiction,

“+”ing and “–”ing in this wake,
founding kingdoms on handshakes
floating from bars to beds to
inventive deep thoughts in my head to
genuine friends to prying with crowbars to
make amends,

I’m the distortion in the middle and can’t see the end,

I never promised answers, though I feel a
prevalent part in history’s confusing exposure-
the soft handed, the wet eye’d and the widows
have always cried out for closure,

where is the solution! Equations written
all have resolutions,
the A’s and B’s look at me,
instead of answers I get edgy

“+”ing and “-“ing turns into
manipulative multiplication,
divisive division

injecting their white knuckle moments,
basking in passion faded
thinking it can be persuaded,
gliding through other’s boredom
with my own, acting as an orphan,
instead of sensible answers



(unfamiliar hands, had it coming for six months, missed dinners, new perfume, voicemails left and listened to, crying when you shouldn’t and never when you should, her boyfriend, mowing the lawn because you are turning over a new leaf, social media window shopping, old perfume, getting off on the past, howling at sirens because he used to, blonde hair, running stairs, forgetting to care about what brought you there, and what kept you away, not her, too little, too much, too slow, too fast, too close, too distant, too reminiscent, too different, too nosy, too the same, too real, too bad)

and in the blue of the
early and late,
the times of life and day
that make people care about what they say,
the A’s and B’s will look at what they see,
the equation and proposed solution, and inevitably

say to me,

“You need to simplify it.”

And I get edgy.

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