Maybe Next Time

Silence has never pistol whipped me so hard.

I’m not sure what it all means
The dreams, the things
I wish I could say and do
Spending all my evenings imagining that
They could be organized around you

Not pining
Not pressing
Nor drinking, undressing

Nothing like that
The time I wish to spend
Is far too pressing

Maybe we could do nothing. Maybe just laugh
Or maybe I could witness you as you are alone
Gaining access to space where you
Reach back into each joy, each sin
Where you splinter off the memories
You embed in your walls
And graft them to your skin
Where the reruns of old pain
Old memories kept, old pleasure
No longer direct, comes bubbling up
And is seen in full measure

An intimate portrait of your life
The greatest gift you could give

You say you can’t trust, you say you
Are scared of the depths

I don’t think you’re wrong

I just wish I could tell you
I’d give you my best

I wouldn’t tell you to burn everything
I wouldn’t tell you to melt down your armor

I would tell you what I can’t.

But it seems for you to hear me
Would be to change your nature
And to change would break my heart

Please know I recognize your beauty
I have recognized it from the start.

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2 thoughts on “Maybe Next Time

  1. I quite enjoy your words. Did you study creative writing/poetry in college or is this simply a creative outlet? Either way, keep writing!

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